I had a bittersweet Manners Moment this “Twixmas” out for a bike ride
with the family. We were on a cycle path
near our home and my daughter, 6, is still a little unsteady on her
wheels. She moved to one side of the
path and stopped to let pedestrians past, yet they did not even acknowledge her
presence, let alone that she had made way for them. This happened twice, each time an adult
couple.
I was chuffed that she thought herself that pulling aside would be the
right thing to do, then proud that she felt so aggrieved when she told me,
twice, that “they didn’t say ‘thank you,’ and that’s really rude!” I was also feeling a mixture of
disappointment and frustration about their disregard for what are widely
considered the most basic of common courtesy and good manners; the ‘magic
words,’ and making eye contact when saying them. For my part, I’ve spent six years trying to
reinforce to my daughter how important it is to have nice manners, yet here
were four grown adults showing the complete opposite to all my ‘respect’
conversations.
All I could do was agree that yes, these are two great examples of
rudeness, and we talked instead about how it made her feel that she was on the
wrong end of bad manners, and how easy it would have been for any one of them
to smile and say, ‘thank you.’ I hope she will remember that day going forwards and take her own manners forwards because she wants to. Because she realises how important it is. Because she understands how it makes people feel, and hopefully, with her next few encounters with strangers, that people show her the same respect in return.
I am a firm believer that teaching children good manners from the outset
lines them up for better success as an adult, knowing how to act and how to
treat others with respect.
It starts
with all of us with the ‘magic words;’ as soon as we can talk, we’re taught to
say ‘please,’ and ‘thank you,’ and we learn very quickly that our success rates
in getting what we want are greatly enhanced through using them. They are really important to me, and I think
are the foundation of good manners. It’s
just a shame that more people don’t hold common courtesy in such regard. I wonder if the roles had been reversed how
quickly it would have been noticed that a young pedestrian did not thank an
adult cyclist for letting her past.
Manners show respect, and for me that should be shown to everyone,
whatever age. It’s not hard, and as I
often say to the girls, it really does cost nothing.
