Good Manners Cost Nothing

I had a bittersweet Manners Moment this “Twixmas” out for a bike ride with the family.  We were on a cycle path near our home and my daughter, 6, is still a little unsteady on her wheels.  She moved to one side of the path and stopped to let pedestrians past, yet they did not even acknowledge her presence, let alone that she had made way for them.  This happened twice, each time an adult couple.

I was chuffed that she thought herself that pulling aside would be the right thing to do, then proud that she felt so aggrieved when she told me, twice, that “they didn’t say ‘thank you,’ and that’s really rude!”  I was also feeling a mixture of disappointment and frustration about their disregard for what are widely considered the most basic of common courtesy and good manners; the ‘magic words,’ and making eye contact when saying them.  For my part, I’ve spent six years trying to reinforce to my daughter how important it is to have nice manners, yet here were four grown adults showing the complete opposite to all my ‘respect’ conversations.

All I could do was agree that yes, these are two great examples of rudeness, and we talked instead about how it made her feel that she was on the wrong end of bad manners, and how easy it would have been for any one of them to smile and say, ‘thank you.’  I hope she will remember that day going forwards and take her own manners forwards because she wants to.  Because she realises how important it is.  Because she understands how it makes people feel, and hopefully, with her next few encounters with strangers, that people show her the same respect in return.

I am a firm believer that teaching children good manners from the outset lines them up for better success as an adult, knowing how to act and how to treat others with respect.

It starts with all of us with the ‘magic words;’ as soon as we can talk, we’re taught to say ‘please,’ and ‘thank you,’ and we learn very quickly that our success rates in getting what we want are greatly enhanced through using them.  They are really important to me, and I think are the foundation of good manners.  It’s just a shame that more people don’t hold common courtesy in such regard.  I wonder if the roles had been reversed how quickly it would have been noticed that a young pedestrian did not thank an adult cyclist for letting her past.  Manners show respect, and for me that should be shown to everyone, whatever age.  It’s not hard, and as I often say to the girls, it really does cost nothing.

Beating Back To Work Blues

I love holidays.  I love going away and I love staying home.  The big problem with them as far as I can see is that they have to come to an end.

Perhaps that’s ultimately part of their allure; they’re a break from reality, a chance to do something different with your favourite people, an opportunity for escapism, and that means they have to finish sometime.

I love not having to rush all the time.  No need to set an alarm, although my youngest will still wake me long before I would come round on my own, and nowhere to be at any particular time.  I think that’s the best bit. 

My working week is planned to the minute from the moment I wake on Monday morning to the minute I leave the office on Friday afternoon, so it’s great to have nothing planned and just see where the day takes us.

I write tonight with the evening sun on my face, just enjoying the moment, but knowing that in just a matter of hours, I’ll be sitting back at my desk, logging on to hundreds of emails, hearing about everything that’s happened over the last couple of weeks.  I don’t doubt that by 10 o’clock it’ll feel like I was never away.

I’m determined not to get the dreaded “back to work blues,” though, and this is how I plan to dodge it:

Be Selfish

It’s going to be a busy week, I know that, but I’m absolutely going to make sure to have some ‘me’ time.  Holidays are usually about compromise so that everyone gets a chance to do something they want to do, but as a mum, I probably don’t get as much say in the activities as the girls do. That’s fine. But this week, I’m going to read lots, maybe even go to the cinema, and generally do even just a couple of things I want to.  Just as soon as I’ve done all the laundry.

Get Organised

Those of you who know me will know that this is always a major life mission! I am constantly in the quest of tidiness and organisation.  I know it’ll make things easier, I know it’ll save me time.  I just never quite manage to keep on top of it.  So this week, tomorrow, I’m going to clear up my inbox and my desktop, and start as I mean to go on.  I don’t want to get rid of everything, but it is about making space for the things that are important to me, and being able to find things when I need them.

Keep Up The Good Bits

I have relaxed, a bit, and I’ve certainly been eating well while I’ve been off - lots of fish and fresh fruit and veg – and I’m going to keep that up. I’m also going to try and spend as much time outside as possible. 

I’ve lived in the garden over the last couple of weeks, and it does help that it’s been warm and sunny, but I know there’s lots of research stating the benefits of spending time outside, so even as the days get darker and colder, I’m going to try and get out for a bit. 

I’ve stored pictures in my head of the glorious colours, sounds and smells of this summer to help me through wet power-walks on grey pavements.  Reliving the memory will keep it alive, I’m sure.

A Change Is As Good As A Rest

Try something new.  Every day. Break the routine and do something to get out of a rut. It needn’t be ground-breaking – try a new flavour sandwich, take a different route to work – something to avoid a constant drudge.

Book Your Next Holiday

It’s an oldie but a goodie – book your next time off and give yourself something to look forward to.  Even a day mid-week, or an extended weekend, if you can’t commit yet to a big holiday. You’ll know then that you can really throw yourself back into work.

Get Ready

I’ll admit I’ve checked my emails – I don’t like surprises, unless they’re gift-wrapped – so I know roughly what’s happened while I’ve been gone, and when I get back tomorrow, I’ll leave my out-of-office on for a day or so, just to give me a bit of breathing space. 

Like New Year’s Resolutions, a return from holiday is a great time to take stock and set some new goals, so I’ll be taking some time out away from my computer to think about what’s frustrated me recently and how I can make a difference to that, what are my priorities for the coming term, and to really embed the positive attitude.  I’ll write them down and keep them in my eye-line at work.  As the saying goes, if your dreams don’t scare you, they’re not big enough!